bla

feel gross. keep telling myself this is the LAST time I'll feel like this.

Ugh. Can't say much else about that.

For what it's worth, the chinese gender-predictor chart thinks we'll be having a girl this time. We'll see. We have definitely decided we are going to find out the sex. Mostly to start cleaning the garage ;)

Two weeks

Today is officially two weeks before my first appointment and I think that's about as long as the secret is really going to be a secret. Since I've been sick at work (yes, officially puked in the work toilet today), I feel like I should tell them. My plan is to tell my closest coworker (who is alwys here when I'm here), and see if I can hold off then rest for a little while. Although we'll see how long a "while" is.

I think I'm going to go ahead and tell my close friends here though. May need some support with the barfing.

Whew NOW I feel pregnant

So now that I've definitely barfed and felt sick for several days, it feels more official. I hate feeling sick, but it does make me feel more confident that everything is going ok down there. I can no longer say I feel symptom free. Though after about 10:30 this morning I was fine, it was difficult to entertain the kids until that point. My belly is mushy and very muffin-toppy. Yuck. Hopefully things will firm up and I'll transition from "gettin jiggly" to "pregnant" sooner rather than later. Not into this stage. I'm trying not to think too much about my upcoming appointment because I just can't wait. I am so excited to feel like we're really into this -- well, that and I will be closer to being done feeling sick. Sadly, being sick isn't likely to prevent me from gaining too much weight too early. The best way to fix the nausea is to keep my stomach full-ish. Meaning, I'm eating ALL day. Oh well. I guess I'll have the rest of my life to get whatever body I have left into a shape I can live with.

So we're 15 days until the big unveiling at this point. I may start to tell some people a little sooner than that. Partly because I'm bursting with the news, but mostly because I feel like, if I get really sick, I might need help some mornings. I was ok on Monday, but I definitely felt worse this morning. I guess I'll have to fill my snack drawer!

FRIDAY!

and FINALLY not raining!

This morning I felt the first hint of morning sickness. Didn't barf, but felt pretty nauseous until I had a decent amount of food in me. Feeling a bit light headed today and the waistband in my jeans is still tighter (after wearing them for three days). Definitely going to pooch out early.

Six weeks

Now 6 weeks pregnant, our baby looks something like this. It's amazing to me that it looks so much more the shape of a person in only a week. It's only about the size of a seasame seed, so if you were to actually see it, I think it would look more like a booger than this but it' pretty neat that they have these kinds of pictures.

I am having trouble getting good sleep these days because I keep having very lucid dreams that are waking me up. The most frustrating thing about them is that many of them have involved Dave and I wake up mad at him. Like the one where he joins the army and tells me when I'm 7 months pregnant and have my other two kids to take care of -- and he's leaving for basic training the next day. Or there was one where he was spraying me with the kitchen sink sprayer and wouldn't stop. Ugh, I was SO mad! We've been Netflix-ing the last season of Gilmore Girls and last night I had dreams where my 3-year-old was doing all the things Rory was. It was odd to see my not-yet-three-foot-tall little girl driving off to college. I had a lot of trouble sleeping with Owen and ended up taking tylenol PM a lot. However (and I'm sure this is totally crazy), he's really a terrible sleeper and I can't help to wonder if all that made a difference in how he could(n't) put himself to sleep so I'm reluctant to take them. Maybe I'll see what the doctor says about that in a few weeks.

Other than that, I'm sure that my waistband is getting a little tighter -- which annoys me given it's so early. I hope that I won't look pregnant to the people who see me regularly until I'm ready to tell them. Although the weather has definitely been helping on that front. Yesterday it snowed and today is predicted to be rainy and gloomy. Thus, I'm forced to wear baggy, unflattering clothes merely because it's cold. I've also been able to write off my crankiness as annoyance with our lack of nice weather. And while I'm not really feeling sick yet, there have been hints of morning sickness -- like gagging when I get out of breath. Very tolerable though.

Less than three weeks before our first appointment! I'm excited to meet the new doctor but I'm also excited to tell people -- especially here where I live. I find myself distracted thinking about being pregnant and all the changes that will be happening in our lives. This makes it hard to pay good attention to what's going on in conversation.

My last thought for this morning -- and I'll probably talk about this more in posts to come -- is that I'm excited to go through our baby stuff. Mostly because we have a TON and I'm anxious to get rid of stuff we don't need. It will be September or so before I can really make a dent in this -- when we find out if we are having a boy or a girl. I keep looking at the tupperware tubs full of clothes and I just can't wait to clear some of it out!

Really? Already?

Ok, first of all, I'm royally PO'd that it's snowing right now. IT'S JUNE 11TH!!!


Second, I know it's impossible because the baby is less than a quarter of an inch long, but I swear my belly is starting to expand. Not that I look pregnant. More like I ate Thanksgiving dinner and are wearing jeans right out of the dryer. No way my belly could ALREADY be getting bigger could it? If so I'll have to be careful what I wear in the next three weeks before we spill the beans.

23 days

23 days until we spill the news to the world. Super excited. No symptoms except feeling a little fat -- could be the pasta for lunch though. Planning to wear "skinny" clothes this week as I only have a few weeks left I'm guessing before I start to bulge -- well bulge related to baby that is.

In the family: today Rhianna started preschool and Owen started in the toddler room. They are growing up!!

One more day

Ok. I'm sure I'll get back to counting but today all I can think about is how sore my back is. I've been cutting out wedding invitations almost all weekend. And when I wasn't doing that, we were throwing R her third birthday party. She had a great time and I got to hold a six-week-old baby which was awesome. Several people commented that I looked "a little too comfortable" holding a newborn -- whatever that means. It was pretty cool I have to say. I definitely am happy that we are having another one. I'm sure when I'm really done having babies though, I'll miss that potential of holding my own baby again.

It's definitely time for me to go to bed. Today I feel very sore but I think that's related to several hours with an exacto versus the pregnancy. I do feel like I've gained about 10 lbs over night but that may be directly related to...uhm...birthday cake :)

On a side note, I just found out people can find out about this blog by clicking on my profile where they are linked to a listing of my blogs. So if you're in the know and you're not supposed to be yet, KEEP THE SECRET!

T-?

Today I have actually been able to avoid thinking about being pregnant. ha! yeah right. Today we had Rhianna's third birthday party so I was somewhat consumed with that activity. However, the invitations to "go have a drink" and questions of "so are you thinking about number three?" made ignoring the elephant in the room a little difficult. "Actually, we've thought a lot about #3."

Hopefully more time to write tomorrow. Tonight it's time to sleep/recover.

Symptoms: Sore back. Very sore back.

T-25

Those days are just a ticking away. Right. The most exciting news today is that my mom has decided she is going to come to visit the kids July 3-8, conveniently the day AFTER my u/s. So telling her should be fun. I can just hand her a picture which will be cool. She might pass out. Nonetheless, it should be fun to have her here. She hasn't seen the kids in a while and I'm sure will be excited to play with them now that they are at a play with-able age.

No more symptoms to report. I'm a little shocked that my bbs aren't yet sore and that I'm not nauseous at all but I'll count my blessings for now. Wouldn't it be amazing to be pregnant without all the annoyances? I know it's unlikely, but we'll see. Maybe my body is waiting until R's big birthday bash is over to become an annoyance. We'll stick with that plan for now.

I've been thinking a lot about what might be different this time or how I want things to go. And really, I know it's vain, but I really don't want to gain a lot of weight. It was way harder to loose O's weight than R's and so I'm sure #3 would be exponentially difficult. And I just don't want to fight that AGAIN. I'm tired of having a new size of wardrobe every year. I'm tired of worrying about it. I just don't want to do it. I don't have much of a choice, of course. I'll try to be healthy...ish. But I'm not going to change my diet drastically or anything during this pregnancy and I'll try to stay active as much as possible. That said, I dread the end of next February when nothing will fit and I look so mushy. The saving grace is that this will be the last time I'll have to fight this battle and by my 30th birthday I'll be whatever size I'll be. No more drastic body changes after that.

T-26

No news on me today. I'm getting a little frustrated with being so irritable. I can tell that I'm being overly sensitive and snippy and I feel like there is nothing I can do about it.

Baby: According to i-am-pregnant.com, I am now 5 weeks pregnant and this is vaguely what baby looks like:



Our little alien is a little more than 1mm long. Cool huh?

T-27

Today I'm giddy at the idea of having another child. I made an appointment with a new doctor for this pregnancy. They scheduled it on July 2 which may be our big unveiling. I talked to D about it last night and I think that spilling our news the moment K pops out her first daughter would be inconsiderate and do exactly the opposite our intention of not stealing her BabyE's thunder. The new doctor prefers to do an early ultrasound so I think we'll end up with a picture of our newest addition. That seems like a good way to tell the world. Hopefully I'll be able to come up with something clever to do graphically and email it around and see who calls first :) So now I have a clear deadline. I only have to keep the secret for about 27 more days. Right. That's so going to happen. We'll see.


Keeping the secret: T-27. Told two three people so far. D, J (who lives in VA, who's she going to tell), and O (unlikely to know/tell anyone I know)

Me: Feeling excited today though not felling very pregnant. My only symptoms so far are fatigue and irritablity.

Baby: No news. Blob might be slightly more exciting than yesterday. Still not identifiable. Nonetheless, s/he's wishing her big sister a happy birthday by osmosis.

Three days in the "know"

For three days now, I have known that we are expecting our third (and probably final) child. So far, the news is a little surreal. I think that might be how all pregnancies begin. The only hint my soon-to-be-pregnancy-engorged self is a missed period and irritablility that puts my normal PMS to shame. I am, admittedly quite tired, but I have a hard time believing that I'm actually pregnant again.

I think the hardest part about this pregnancy will be that we are going to try to keep it a secret for longer than we did for the other two. My sister is pregnant and due the first of August. As she didn't make it quite to her due date with her son, I'm guessing she'll deliver a little early this time as well. The initial idea is to wait until she delivers until we spread this news with the world. I don't want my news to take anything away from her special time. Then again, I'm not sure telling them the minute they have their first daughter would be the perfect moment either. So I'm not really sure yet when we'll tell my family. We'll tell D's family about the same time. This decision will probably come down to two factors: 1) how early my already-stretched belly starts to betray the news and (probably a bigger factor) 2) how long I can actually hold it in.

Anyhow, trying to keep a better log this time. So here's the update for today.


4 wks, 5 days:
Me: Crabby and tired. Starting to list all the things I would like to do before February. Trying not to feel overwhelmed.
Baby: Very un-baby-like miniscule clump of cells. No identifying marks. Probably about the size of a period (.)